Trump, Money, Mobs & Conspiracy on Insurrection Day 2021

“What happens to a [Trumper’s] dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?… Or does it explode?

–modified Langston Hughes

The 4 more years dream of the Trump coalition of red-hatted truckers, greasy bikers, tough guys, rough gals, stock traders, rich pricks and uninformed uncles all over America was squashed with Biden’s November victory. Yet, leave it to those puckered-up Trumpet minions to snag shame from the jaws of defeat by literally invading our Capitol. Faced with the prospect of the dread label of LOSER, Trump pushed all his slimeball chips to the center and effectively tweeted: “All in. Election was rigged. Support me or else YOU lose.” Trump claimed the election he WON was rigged, so of course the one he lost was, too. So afraid of losing, so afraid at the mocking chants of “Loooser, Loooser” he’d hear in his tortured nightmares coming from his dead father, Trump decided to burn it down.

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If I Had a Million Dollars…

I taught a writing lesson to first graders this week about “If I Had a Lot of Money.” I remembered the old Barenaked Ladies song, “If I Had a Million Dollars” and played it for them. One kid said, “Why can’t I stop singing this song?” One kid said, “That’s not true, you can’t buy love.” He got a star for saying that. Continue reading

Spring Break

Spring Break is a common ritual for American college students. Perhaps the Europeans or Aussie’s do it, but they’re not Americans and therefore could barely imagine the immature debauchery and self-justified indulgences in which Americans engage their young bodies. Working out the month before, applying self-tanning formulas and maintaining a strong alcohol tolerance (almost by accident of going to an American University), we prepare for the yearly rite. Continue reading

Staring Drivers

Anyone who’s driven a motor vehicle near a crowded metropolis knows this situation: someone makes a turn or drives past you and stares at you the whole time. Their blank face judging you, wondering why you are such an idiot, and thanking the stars above that they are not you. This is one of the most annoying, road rage inducing acts a driver can do. It offers a sense of superiority to the moving vehicle as they blankly, disapprovingly watch you as they pass.  Continue reading